...and on...and on...and on.

more visits from the Police...it sure would be nice to be able to get some sleep during the weekend.

Someday, these people will take me seriously.

it just keeps getting better

I'm working my way through what's trying to become a cold...or the flu...or H1N1...or whatever.  In spite of my efforts, I'm derailed yet again. 

Thursday night, it was more shitty music by disrespectful neighbors, another visit by the police...and at 1am, silence.  Tonight, I went to bed at a respectable hour, in an effort to feel more 'alive' tomorrow.  Trouble is, the furnace upstairs didn't have the same plan in mind...my upstairs neighbor's CO2 alarm started going off at around 12:30am...and that was followed by a visit by the fire department at 1:00am.  They figure that the CO2 in my unit is too high, so I had to open some windows (fortunately, it warmed up quite a bit in the last few days)...and now, I sit here..tired and frustrated...waiting for the place to air out.

There are signs everywhere....it's time to look for a house-where I'll be the sole reason for my lack of sleep and general unrest.

I can't wait to go to sleep.

fuck you and your ridiculous music.

I've lived in this apartment for a few months...it's been rather uneventful when compared to the previous apartment (had mice for a few weeks due to a hole in the exterior wall)...but it's just become interesting:

I live in a pretty nice apartment complex-it's clean, quiet, there's plenty of parking, it's very well kept and the rent is reasonable.  Apparently, economic times have changed things...the management company is getting desperate and the riff raff are moving in now. 

I should be asleep right now-but I'm not because my neighbors have decided to blast their movie/music so loud that I can clearly hear it in my living room...which is on the other side of my bedroom.  I've already gone over and asked that they turn it down...and that's apparently failed, since I can still hear their shitty music.  In 8 minutes, the local police will be paying them a visit, and then the management office will rue the day they allowed these halfwit inbreeds to move in next to me.

Maybe, in spite of my dislike for committing to a house right now, it's time to consider it...or maybe a baseball bat would be cheaper.

Let's see what the police think when they get here...

EDIT:  The police just left..and it's all quiet now...just the way it should be at midnight on a Monday.

Part II

While I didn't get everything to work out the way I'd hoped, this is now more organized and easier to troubleshoot.  I decided against physically moving three of the servers to the top of the rack to open up some space.  Time was not my friend yesterday-so activities had to be limited.

The second phase will be to replace two servers and retire four. It's been an interesting project so far.  This is a temporary change although it allows for improved air flow and, from an aesthetics point of view-I can now close the rear mesh doors.

I ran out of cable management loops (only had the six that came with the rack) so I had to work with what I had on hand.  Once the second round is complete, the cable management will be far less of an issue...

A Saturday project

When the company I work for downsized-I picked up the IT responsibilities.  The former responsible party rarely finished projects or would cut corners (like using a 20' cable to patch a KVM and server that are 12" apart) just because the shorter cables were too far away (across the building). 

This is a real picture of the back of our server rack-the bottom half anyway...

Saturday morning, bright and early, I'm going to clean this mess up.  It's the first of a five stage process to stabilize, organize and streamline our IT network.

I'm not an IT expert but I know enough to be able to plan, execute and finish a project...and test it to make sure it all works when I'm finished.  The system is more stable now than it was when it was bequeathed to me just over a month ago...and all it took was a little trouble shooting.

In addition to the clean up of the wiring, a new wireless network will be installed, along with new batteries for the APCs.  Simple maintenance...simple things that make the lives of the many users less complicated.

This train wreck is part of phase II.  It's the network closet and it makes me nauseous every time I have to look at it.  Everything is 7' in the air and the cables are tangled up like a ball of twine.

I've got the cables, the plan and a color code map for each wire function...I think this one is going to take a couple of days-maybe one panel at a time.  There are approximately 20 wall jacks that don't have active connections throughout the building...and to make it a little more interesting nothing on the patch panels is labeled.

I'm looking forward to both the challenge and the reward of an organized, efficient system that's easy to trouble shoot in the future.  And in all honesty, I'm looking forward to the day when people stop bitching about not being able to connect to the network (I used to be one of them).  Maybe that's just a pipe dream...but I'm going to hold on to it good and tight for now.

And if anyone is interested in a large quantity of non-booted 14', 17' and 20' CAT5e cables, let me know...I'd guess there are over 100 when it's all said and done...I'm willing to make a deal.

Absolut chaos

I have two group projects due today...I say 'today' because it's 12:23am.

One is for class-a group project about breast cancer and technology.  The irony is that two of the three people in my group don't understand technology well enough to use spell check for their paper and 'our' presentation.  For that matter, I'm the only one who knows how to put pictures in a PowerPoint (isn't that all people look at with PPT, anyway?).  I'm over it though.  Sometimes, it's best to just let it go and move on...like a medic in Vietnam.

The second group project is for work.  We have a new president/CEO guy coming in from Germany.  To be honest, I'm not 100% sure what his position is with the company.  I just know that he's got status over my boss and to be honest, that's all that really matters.  It's not out of lack of interest that I don't know-it's that my boss hasn't told me who, exactly, this guy is in our company.  I guess I'll find out in about 12 hours when he shows up.  Anyhow, I was supposed to receive a template for our PPT presentations so they were consistent-only, like my team in class, one of my co-workers doesn't understand technology well enough to send me the right template (he sent the old one), so I'll be cramming in the morning to get it done by lunch.

The next obvious question:  "Why the *&%^ did you wait so long to put this presentation together?"  That answer is simple:  My boss didn't tell me what he wanted in it until 4:00pm today...hard to know which direction to go if your boss doesn't know himself...but that's all cleared up now...I just have to run twice as fast to catch up.  It's a good thing I'm used to this sort of 'communication'.

Fuck you, iTunes

It's confirmed: iTunes 9.01 blows chunks.  It crashes more often than it plays a full song...what a horrendous piece of...yeah, you get the picture.

Actually, to be fair, it DOES play one song...then it crashes.  And it's quite consistent about it to boot.

I look forward to the next version...9.02 the one that crashes/locks up the entire computer.

When the weather changes, so do the driving 'skills'

Anyone who knows me...and I use this term lightly...[it includes people who have never been in a car with me] know that I have several pet peeves with regard to other drivers.  In the words of George Carlin, they're not 'pet peeves' as much as they might be 'psychotic hatreds'.  One of my many issues with other drivers is when a 'pilot' is approaching an intersection where *they* know they will turn right and they have not clued any of the rest of us into this change of direction until they slam on the brakes at the last second-then signal-and finally, turn right.  It happens at driveways to McDonalds, the corner of an intersection, a home driveway (I don't know where you live, jackass, otherwise I'd have changed lanes), a strip mall, etc.  You get the picture.

Here's my question:  What's the point of signaling AFTER you've slammed on the brakes at the last moment?  The turn indicator is to 'indicate' when you will turn BEFORE you alter your course or speed...or better yet, force those unfortunate souls who follow from having to radically alter their course as a result of your inability to anticipate a direction. Here's an idea:  If your foot touches the brake, don't fucking bother with the turn signal, the rest of us have figured out that you don't know what you're doing.

This story is brought to you by a scene I witnessed today on my way to a store...I was sitting at an intersection at a red light.  Across the intersection, a woman in a Honda Accord literally slammed on the brakes, then signaled...and then turned into the parking lot of a restaurant at a pace that a snail would find tardy.  The car behind her swerved into the left lane to avoid rear-ending her...and the truck behind that second car swerved onto the parkway (that ridiculous strip of grass between the street and sidewalk) where it struck a tree.  The woman continued past the two vehicles (she turned right into the parking lot and then turned right again so she was facing the two vehicles that avoided her) and just went on her merry way like it was no big deal.  She didn't stop in the parking lot to see if anyone was hurt or apologize...just oblivious to the world around her.  Maybe she was talking on her phone...or text messaging someone...you know, far more important stuff.  By the time the light turned green both vehicles had left the scene.

On my way home from work tonight-a mere 1.1 mile drive-I had two people pull the exact same stunt in front of me.  And while I avoided both situations it struck me as both completely unnecessary and irritating.  The second car did it to me just after the car in front of him did the same thing...it was apparently written off as 'normal'-making it acceptable to do it to the guy behind (me).

And, while I'm on this rant...I grew up in Southern California.  Lived there for 28 or so years before moving out to Chicago (another topic entirely, trust me).  A couple of things to keep lodged in your memory banks for the purpose of this reading:  It doesn't really get cold.  It definitely doesn't snow...and while there are a lot more people there...and assuming they can drive no better than those who grew up and live in Chicago-why is it that there are so many more collisions in Chicago?  I digress...I'm off topic here.

It got 'cold' (it's in the 50's) and rained a little today...and what few collected skills people have are suddenly lost when the sun disappears.  People in the burbs of Chicago either drive way too fast or way too slow when the weather changes.  It's raining?  Okay, I'll drive 50mph down this residential street, get 50 feet from my street, slam on the brakes, signal and then when I'm sure everyone behind me is good and screwed up, I'll turn.  Or..."Rain?  WTF is this?"  Wipers are going 100mph and the car is going 20mph.  Either way, you suck.  Stay at home and wait for the sun to come back out so you can try again-preferably in the WalMart parking lot with the rest of the people who can't figure out where they're going.

I'm the first to admit that I often drive faster than the posted limit-but I do it with some common sense.  I've never flipped my car upside down in an intersection with no one else around (I've seen this twice).  I've never taken out a bush, tree, shrub or parked car...driven into a ditch in the winter, spun my car with no one else around or struck a random pole in the middle of nowhere.  I've never plowed into the side of another car.  I have, however, seen all of these things in the few years I've lived in the Midwest.  I've only rear-ended one car in my life...and only because he slammed on the brakes at a green light from 45mph....twice.

I guess I have to tell the story now.

One late Spring afternoon a few years ago, I was driving with a friend to Chicago...I was driving within 5 mph of the posted speed limit.  About two car lengths ahead is a white Toyota Corolla filled with people.  My friend and I are talking about her cousin when all of the sudden, I see brake lights and the ass end of the Corolla go up in the air as the car approaches the intersection.  I mash the brakes hard and we slow quickly.  Just as we're coming up on the Corolla, it takes off.  I switch from brake to accelerator pedal...about 200 feet later, brake lights again-but this time I'm too close to stop in time...I mash the brakes and wind up punting the little Corolla sardine can through the actual intersection.  I look over at my friend-who is now covered in Caribou coffee (and it's dripping from my headliner and dash) and pull off to the right-behind the Corolla.

I'm 'greeted' by a young South-East Asian guy (about 25 years old) who is irate that I punted him through the intersection.  He's yelling at me in broken English about how he just got his car painted and it's now got two license plate ears on the rear fascia/bumper.

The conversation goes something like this:

Him: "What are you doing?"
Me: "Hey-I'm pretty sure that green is the universal signal for "GO"-why did you stop at a green light?"
Him: "I thought I saw an ambulance"
Me: "Twice?"
Him: "I just got my car painted-look what you did!"
Me: "Don't worry neither my friend nor I are injured"
Him: "You were following too close to me!"
Me: "Yeah, you're right-I should always anticipate someone slamming on the brakes-twice-for no reason."
Him: "I'm going to call the police!"
Me: "Okay-go for it.  When they get here you can tell them why you stopped at a green light {I look over his shoulder at his car}-and better yet, you can tell them how you got nine people in a car with five seat belts."
Him: {turns around to count the heads in his car} "Uh, okay buddy-you have a nice day!"

We shake hands and he jumps back in his car and drives off.  There was no damage to my car and I later found out that it was less than 14mph when we hit-no airbags went off and that's supposedly the speed at which the impact would have set them off.

Supposedly, California is the state with all of the 'nuts' and 'flakes'...

iTunes 9.01 = unique suck

Like the iTunes lemming that I am, I downloaded the latest iTunes today.  I restarted my computer and ran CCleaner to delete any weird install files.

I went into the iTunes store and bought two albums and five songs into it, crash.  I opened it again, downloaded one song...crash.  Rinse. Lather. Repeat.  I went online and discovered that iTunes 9.01 is quite possibly the worst version of the software to date.  Beautiful.

I had no other programs running on the computer...no iPod attached.  I stopped the downloads-changed the "Home Sharing" to "No" and broke the sync of just about everything (photos, movies, TV, etc.).  Tried again and wound up downloading the balance of the two albums.

Leave it to Apple to get me hooked and then fuck me without so much as a kiss before leaving me in a heap.

I think it's time to look at a Zune.

I got kicked out of Barnes & Noble ’cause I put all the Bibles in the fiction section.

I don't know where I stand when I say that as a quasi-resident of Chicago (I live in the 'burbs), I'm not sad that Chicago didn't get picked as the host city.  I grew up in a suburb of Los Angeles and lived there until 2001, when I packed my shit and moved East.  Chicago, in my opinion, is a much more friendly city and in spite of being listed as the most stressful city in the country, I still like it better than Los Angeles.  Chicago has a sense of personality that LA only seems to have on television.  The food is better, the people are {a little} more genuine, there's FAR more culture and individuality versus people who are trying to 'appear' to be this way...let's face it, there are fake people everywhere-even in Chicago and it's 'burbs but there are far less of them out here in the Midwest than on the left coast.

I've been on the bus system in Chicago-recently in fact-and oddly enough they were clean and well kept.  Might have been a fluke...might have been because I was on the North side of the city...might have been a lot of reasons actually.  I was surprised nonetheless.  The 'el' as its known, is old, crowded, noisy and a tetanus shot is usually a good idea...it's a great place for random conversation-Time Out Chicago has a section within its pages called 'heard on the street' and some of the most random things I've ever read were overheard on an el train.  The simple message:  The "El" isn't ready for an Olympic population to climb aboard.

The Metra-the train system that brings all of us 'weekend city dwellers' from our nice, clean sprawling apartments, condos and houses into the city-is a good deal and the system works just fine with its current passenger payload...I'm sure more cars could be added to the train but it's barely on time right now.  What happens when 5 more cars of people are added to the mix?  I don't even bring up the 'foreign' aspect because I assume that just about everyone on the planet knows more about public transportation than the typical American.  We take it for granted-others take it to get somewhere...not ready for Olympic porportion sized crowds...hell the train stations aren't ready for it.

Current events-like the Taste of Chicago, Lollapolooza, Blues Fest and, more recently, Flug Tag, have proven that Chicago doesn't have the ability to adequately transport people from one place to another.  I shudder to think about what going into the city would entail with another 200,000 people roaming around...but then again, if each one of them picked up one piece of trash-think about how clean it could be!

An article in The Chicagoist spells it out rather clearly:

With the Olympic shine brightening the shores of another city, most Chicagoans will soon be turning their focus back on the day-to-day issues that plague modern major cities: crime, economics and education. Add to that corruption and a city on the verge of bankruptcy, and you've got a recipe for what may be the most dramatic political struggle this city has seen since 1983. Daley's play to host the 2016 Olympics may not go down as the mayoral legacy the mayor had hoped for; rather than an attempt to reimagine Chicago as the Paris on the Prairie our planners envisioned, it could be remembered as his attempt to quickly rebuild a decimated patronage army, a last desperate attempt to hold power in the waning days of a corrupt mayor on the ropes.
As Ben Joravsky aptly observed, this city is still filled with "reporters around town who delight in exposing the murky details of inside deals, cost overruns, project delays, investigations" and the federal indictments that come with them. And while Daley has been making the rounds among the global elite, savvy and ambitious local politicians have quietly sharpening their knives, just in case the opportunity to make a name for themselves presents itself.
When Richard Daley returns to Chicago from Denmark, he won't be facing the adoring crowds he had hoped for. He's returning to a city that must cope with a soaring deficit, crime and corruption, and not least of all, a pissed off electorate. That isn't to say that his political obituary is written and or even published. Mayor Daley still has plenty of chances to hold onto his office in City Hall. It's just going to be a lot less fun. And if you listen carefully, you can hear the knives coming out.

The article can be found here


I'm hoping for a new mayor that won't pimp the city out for his own political gain...someone who might be able to do for a great city what this mayor did for a good city.  Then maybe, just maybe, I'll move into the city where I've always wanted to immerse myself in the culture as more than a 'weekend' dweller.

Theodore Roosevelt and cactus

"In any moment of decision the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing."

Theodore Roosevelt (1858-1919)
26th president of the U.S.

I've been thinking about this quote for about a week...it's been rolling around my head conspiring and inspiring me to do something with it the entire time.

I'm surrounded by the requirement to make decisions on a daily basis-admittedly most of them happen rather automatically with little conscientious thought by me beforehand.  Then there are the few circumstances where I have to stop what I'm doing-either by choice or necessity-and work through a few steps to come to a conclusion and most importantly, a decision about the grouping of events that met at this juncture...like a bunch of little kids jumping up and down screaming 'pick me! pick me!'.

I went to a dermatologist about a week ago for an upper body exam for skin cancer/skin health.  I've got a few moles that look like someone glued CocoPuffs to my back and I wanted them checked out.  I wound up standing in a room with a great doctor and his female assistant...and more importantly, in front of a full length mirror which didn't have the decency to look away in my presence.  I took in a view of my landscape and decided at that point that I needed to get back on my bike.

Then I started thinking about riding...my thumb was recently operated on to remove a cyst that's been freeloading for almost a decade.  I can't quite use my thumb completely so outdoor cycling isn't an option and by the time that it is, it'll be pretty cold outside.  I decided to multi-task and ride my bike on the trainer and read my book for class for an hour.  It allowed me to get caught up on two things I either needed to or wanted to do...and it didn't require my digit that's in the midst of the process of healing.  Sometimes, it really is about looking at a situation a little differently.

I've decided that I'm going to pedal my spare tire back into the car where it belongs, even if I have to spend an hour a day all winter making it happen...who knows, maybe I'll even get outside and ride a few times too.  But the most important thing is that I've made a decision to do something without taking away from something else.  It seems that so much of deciding is trying to figure out the opportunity cost of a given situation-as an adult, I spend way more time analyzing opportunity cost than probably anything else.

Decisions are there as side roads on a journey guided by a rather straight path-even though I often see them as black and white requirements...they're full of ability that can open up a number of options along the way.

Every rose may have its thorn but even the cactus has the ability to flower under the right conditions.

the 'beauty' of education

There's something to be said for an education gained through simply living life...there's also something to be said for the formal educational process. I think the 'real' life is lived somewhere in the middle of this intersection. What we choose to do with it determines if we walk away from the ensuing car wreck or if we're mortally wounded due to a lack of action.

I cranked out a five page paper tonight with relatively little stress or worry...it was an interesting process for me-I don't like to procrastinate because it usually just stresses me out...this time around, however, things went well and the paper is done. I'm not necessarily advocating that I'll procrastinate this way again (it's due tomorrow) but I was surprised at how fast (three hours, start to finish)I was able to put these words together.

I learn something new about myself on an almost weekly basis anymore...where was this when I was in my 20's? It was hiding because I wasn't ready for it yet...that's what I think.

Background Tune--"Shoegazer" by Crumb

How did you know?

I had to go to a company picnic for a sister company today...it was 'mandatory' for management to attend.  I got a late start to the day and had to wait for my assistant to meet me so we could carpool to the event-an hour North.

We arrived just in time to miss the food...so we stopped at a California Pizza Kitchen on the way back and had lunch.

To put it into the words of a friend: "It's always fun to socialize with people you told to fuck off during the week".

The irony of it is that she knows nothing about the interactions between the two companies but she couldn't have been more 'spot on' with the statement.

Sometimes-to be able to 'see' a situation you don't even need to be involved.

Background Tune--"4AM" by Kaskade

decisions....decisions...

I find myself thinking more about 'big picture' decisions on a daily basis lately...I used to just make the decision that I thought would make the most sense with minimal analysis-the 80/20 rule, if you will.  Every once in a while, I'm faced with a decision that makes me wince...because I want to 'zig' when I know I should 'zag'...for whatever reason. 

I was faced with one of those decisions recently and while I knew what the right decision was for the circumstance, I couldn't help but feel like I'd made the wrong decision.  In the end, everything worked out and I was okay with the decision that I made...looking back, I'd have made the same decision again because it was the right thing to do.  Even if that meant that I lost a little ground in another area the overall move was a good one. 

Some day, I'll get better at making difficult decisions...who knows, maybe then I'll truly learn to breathe deeply.  I am learning...and every great journey starts with what?  A first step.


"if you really love me
you would let me go
to find out what I'm meant to do"


"Great Mistake" by Brookville

some things are just better acoustic...

we can just pretend...

I can't sleep...and what do I do when I can't sleep?  I either blog or listen to music...tonight I'm doing both because I'm wired to the fucking gills!

I've started dreaming again...but it's only one dream.  I'm falling out of a tree...wait-not just 'a tree' but the tallest tree known to anyone who's ever thought of tall trees and I can see the ground coming at my face 100mph...and right before I hit the ground face first, I wake up.  There is no 'snooze' button for this one and it sucks...

It seems that the faster I dig, the more I think..and the more I think, the faster I dig...and next thing I know, I've got one of my feet in my mouth and I'm at the bottom of a very deep hole.  I think I've just realized that my mouth is the shovel...and I need to stop 'digging'.

When I get stressed out, I think about everything...fifteen or sixteen times.  I just need to stop thinking so much...analysis is the death of practicality in my case.  I really hope they don't make a pill for this...I can barely remember to put pants on in the morning as it is.

I was flipping channels in an effort to find something to lull me to sleep...found "Shakespeare In Love" and wondered aloud (I am still talking to myself) if I needed to start writing poetry again...or if a muse might help...but then I realized that she'd have to be deaf and that would negate half of the appeal for me.  I need something to help me think about something else...I'm about to drive myself nuts.

I've got four songs going through my head at one time and they're all competing for limited resources.

"If I go everywhere you want me to go
How will I know you'll still follow?"

Background Tune: "Go Jetsetter"--The Postmarks

Let's Go Out Tonight-Craig Armstrong featuring Paul Buchanan

uncharted waters

I'm all about venturing into uncharted waters these days.  I need to get out of my box more often and there's a version of RLS that's kicking me in the ass from the inside telling me to get up and move about the country...the cynical side says "If you never have the courage to lose sight of the shore you'll never know the terror of being forever lost at sea".  The other side says that it's about experiencing something new-you know, it's exciting and it puts you on edge a little bit...but you can't wait to see where it takes you.

There's a way...there's a way I know...

"...everything is going to be alright"

I found this while reading another blog Why is Daddy Crying?

Best product ever created...hands down.

My Therapy Buddy

He's just going to show up on my desk one day.

my 'everything' is laced with sarcasm

I had a conversation via Facebook today with a long distance friend I've never actually met...we started recommending books to one another a little over a year ago on Shelfari and wound up getting to know about one another-and migrating to Facebook.

We used to talk quite extensively via chat but the last six or seven months hasn't been much to write home about, for lack of a better phrase.  I don't remember how the conversation started but during the exchange, she made mention of my ability to complement others with such a sense of sarcasm (in writing, no less) that it made it hard for her to know if my words really were a compliment or a sharp, silent jab.  I chalk part of that up to her not knowing me in person, part of it to her history of abusive relationships with others and most of it to, well....me.  It's just the way I am...Sometimes, I'm like the scorpion in the story of "The Frog and The Scorpion".  I do things that, while they defy the logic or common sense of the everyday person, make sense to me at the time.  And yes, most of the time, I wind up looking back wondering "What was I thinking?" when I made such a foolish misstep.  There are days where I'm not quite sure what will come out of my mouth next...or why.  I think that's why there are so many pop songs about regret-because I'm not the only one who does this.

I am appreciative of her ability to tell me about it-but that's always been one of the things I like about her-she is very candid with me-most likely because we're not face to face.  She was convinced that she'd had me 'figured out'...but we both discovered that she's way off.  The discovery wasn't a 'victory' for me-rather it gave us both a new perspective on this friendship we've lightly fostered over the last number of months.

Here's how the conversation ended:

Me: I am an ass...I have the emails to prove it.

Her: Well at least we agree on something... ;)

Me: I'll just share the 'nice' stuff with you-I don't want you going and getting your feelings hurt.

Her: that would be a change...your 'compliments' are usually laced with sarcasm.

Me: My 'everything' is laced with sarcasm.

Her: LMAO...there's the title of your memoir. Fucking perfect.

It was then that I realized how poignant that sentence really was with regard to 'me'...and then I wondered how many other creative things have escaped me in the past few months.

"I spend all night, losing sleep..."